ULTIMATE STATE OF MIND ON XEONonair
A BIRD IN HAND
(for more stories, go to
www.xeononair.blogspot.com)
And so goes the story-I was very depressed,
I was sad, I felt betrayed, I felt used, i remember that evening so well. It’s
very hard to forget. It was that night when I was on my knees begging and
pleading for her to reconsider her decision, she wouldn’t just end the
relationship like that; oh no she couldn’t.
I’ve invested so much in time, effort, love
and resources for everything to just end the way she wants it. mind has been made up, from the very first day
we met , my mind was made up to marry her.
I remember this meeting; three years ago,
she was so outstanding at the house warming ceremony at high level that late
afternoon. She was talking and laughing and dancing with her friends and i
couldn’t resist having a word or two with her. Hence when the opportunity came,
I walked up to her, introduced myself and we began to chat. Two hours later, we
were still talking, the chemistry and interest was almost magical, we seem to have
had everything in common, life philosophies, passion, entertainment,
friendships, views about the future and even fashion. It was so overwhelming I
was convinced i had at last found my better half, like they say.
She was warm and friendly; a good listener
showing interest in everything I had to say . She also had this natural
leadership trait that made all her friends look up to her, her parents were
relatively wealthy hence she could afford to wear the best. She had it all; the
content, the container.
I was done with school and was still waiting for my posting to NYSC, she
was done with her diploma program at the college of advance and professional
studies also known as CAPS Makurdi and was trying to secure a direct entry to
study her preferred course.
After the house warming ceremony that day
we wouldn’t stop talking, we chatted all day and night and shared details of
everything we were doing at nearly every point in time.
What are you wearing/ what are you eating?
Where are you now? Are you going out? When? Who are you with? What are you
talking about? Take a picture and send, send me a voice note, send me the joke
and all that goes with a fun and fantastic love affair. We missed each other
greatly and we tried to be together at least every other day; so close and so
intimate was the relationship. Everyone marvelled but were happy for us
regarding this exciting new found love. My parents loved her and her parents
believed I was the best choice of any form of choice ever made by their
daughter, I was already more or less a son-in-law and our siblings were already
friends and hanging out with each other. It was as good as that.
Six months later i was posted to the East
for my NYSC and she secured a direct entry admission with UNAD in Ekiti state.
The separation was a painful but necessary one. A night before my departure to
serve, we were together at the park in warm embrace, she had tears in her eyes
and so did I, we couldn’t believe we would be so far away from each other for
so long, yes my service year was for a year but her program at UNAD was for
another 3-4 years. It would take a long while for us to be together permanently
in Makurdi again. The immediate future didn’t look very exciting but course was
necessary.
We hugged, cried, kissed and wouldn’t let
go of each other until finally it was time for me to leave; the flight
luxurious bus began to move, I ran up, caught it and went in, I kept looking
back and i saw her still standing on the same spot looking at the bus too sad
and lonely to wave, it was a painful but necessary departure.
All through my service year i would save
half of my income and allowances and travel all the way from Afikpo to Ado
Ekiti to see her. It was a regular ritual. Every last weekend of the month I’m
off to Ado Ekiti, the journey wasn’t a big deal, the sheer thought of seeing my
woman again made the journey pretty short.
Hence this last month of my service year, I
was in her room as usual but this time begging her to reconsider her position
to end the relationship. She has no excuse, no reason and I had done nothing
wrong; she’s just tired and wanted it to end. It wasn’t even about the
investment in time, sweat, love, resources and passion.
It was facing the reality of the
separation; a permanent separation, the dream of marrying her becoming a pipe
dream, I couldn’t stand it, I couldn’t handle it, I knelt down begging , she
wouldn’t listen, her mind was made up, she walked out of the room leaving me
there still on my knees. What did I do wrong? What was my crime? How have I
wronged her? I was perplexed, shocked and definitely heartbroken.
How I
coped through that season of my return to Lagos I do not know, how I survived
the loneliness and hurt of rejection I do not know but somehow I survived.
I came back to Makurdi, commenced my job
hunt and tried to go over my hurt and heartbreak. Luckily within six months of
my return to Makurdi i got a job with a leading multinational, i was with the
sales team so i got a brand new official car for my sales activities and also
relocated to Abuja where my company is base.
Almost a year afterwards, I visited my
family in Makurdi and was about returning to Abuja; i was driving through North
bank Makurdi heading for Abuja and my ex
–girlfriend’s younger sister waved me down, I stopped i was glad to see her,
and i parked my car at the eatery close by to have a chat with her.
The young lady was worried and a bit upset.
She began to speak, it’s a long story ‘’Egbon’’, you see the reason why my sister broke up with you was because she
met a man at an event in Akure, this man
came from port Harcourt; he’s an oil company worker. He showed interest in my
elder sister and immediately began to shower her with lots of cash and gifts.
After this event at Akure the man kept coming back to see my sister at school
and after about a month came t the house with a lot of money and gifts for my
parents promising to marry my sister and make her happy.
My parents advised my sister to forget
about you and marry this man from port Harcourt. The oil company guy from Port
Harcourt was already made; he was very rich and you were just a struggling corp
member. So my parents persuaded my sister to dump you for him.
Four months after my sister broke up with
you, she decided to go visit this new boyfriend in Port Harcourt Uninvited; She
wanted to surprise him and on reaching his house, she discovered he was already
married with two children. My sister was devastated, heartbroken and is yet to
recover till now. She doesn’t even know how to face you or apologize, Egbon,
I’m here to plead on her behalf please forgive her, it is the devil’s
handiwork.
Where is she now? Hmmm she’s at home o,
that wicked man from Port Harcourt asked her to give up her admission at UNAD
that he would secure admission for her at Uniport, as he wanted to marry her
immediately and will want his wife to be in the same city and go to school from
home, so my sister dropped out of school with the support of my parents and was
waiting for the Port Harcourt oil company worker to complete her admission
process at Uniport. In fact it was part of the reasons my sister travelled to
surprise him in Port Harcourt before discovering he was already married with
children.
Hmmm, i looked up and down, I was sad, I
was angry, i was disappointed, so this girl dumped me for another man after all
we shared and all I sacrificed for her.
Worse still her parents were in the know
and supported her callous act.
I also felt sorry for her; I guess I still
had the soft spot for her. But i concluded she is unworthy of me, if she did it
once, she will do it again.
I stood up, I’m sorry I can’t help you guys;
I dropped some money on the table at the eatery, into the bright sunlight with
tears welling up in my eyes.
Ladies and Gentlemen what do you have, what
do you want, what do you really need?
It is quite important for us as a people to
think thoroughly before we act or move on anything in this life. Because
nothing in this life is perfect and flawless, wisdom is to learn to accept the
weakness and embrace the strength in anyone we have and love them like that. I
assure you, married or single there is always someone out there who would appear,
sound and behave better than your partner at different times. What you see
clearly is what they have and your partner lacks, what you don’t see is what
they lack but your partner has got and is so critical to your relationship.
Decide today to cherish and appreciate what
you have, love them, celebrate them and appreciate them. Don’t let go of that
bird in your hand for that one looking so good in the bush.
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