ULTIMATE STATE OF MIND ON XEONonair A BIRD IN HAND (for more stories, go to www.xeononair.blogspot.com) And so goes the story-I was very depressed, I was sad, I felt betrayed, I felt used, i remember that evening so well. It’s very hard to forget. It was that night when I was on my knees begging and pleading for her to reconsider her decision, she wouldn’t just end the relationship like that; oh no she couldn’t. I’ve invested so much in time, effort, love and resources for everything to just end the way she wants it. mind has been made up, from the very first day we met , my mind was made up to marry her. I remember this meeting; three years ago, she was so outstanding at the house warming ceremony at high level that late afternoon. She was talking and laughing and dancing with her friends and i couldn’t resist having a word or two with her. Hence when the opportunity came, I walked up to her, introduced myself and we began to chat. Two hours later, we were still talking, the chemistry and interest was almost magical, we seem to have had everything in common, life philosophies, passion, entertainment, friendships, views about the future and even fashion. It was so overwhelming I was convinced i had at last found my better half, like they say. She was warm and friendly; a good listener showing interest in everything I had to say . She also had this natural leadership trait that made all her friends look up to her, her parents were relatively wealthy hence she could afford to wear the best. She had it all; the content, the container. I was done with school and was still waiting for my posting to NYSC, she was done with her diploma program at the college of advance and professional studies also known as CAPS Makurdi and was trying to secure a direct entry to study her preferred course. After the house warming ceremony that day we wouldn’t stop talking, we chatted all day and night and shared details of everything we were doing at nearly every point in time. What are you wearing/ what are you eating? Where are you now? Are you going out? When? Who are you with? What are you talking about? Take a picture and send, send me a voice note, send me the joke and all that goes with a fun and fantastic love affair. We missed each other greatly and we tried to be together at least every other day; so close and so intimate was the relationship. Everyone marvelled but were happy for us regarding this exciting new found love. My parents loved her and her parents believed I was the best choice of any form of choice ever made by their daughter, I was already more or less a son-in-law and our siblings were already friends and hanging out with each other. It was as good as that. Six months later i was posted to the East for my NYSC and she secured a direct entry admission with UNAD in Ekiti state. The separation was a painful but necessary one. A night before my departure to serve, we were together at the park in warm embrace, she had tears in her eyes and so did I, we couldn’t believe we would be so far away from each other for so long, yes my service year was for a year but her program at UNAD was for another 3-4 years. It would take a long while for us to be together permanently in Makurdi again. The immediate future didn’t look very exciting but course was necessary. We hugged, cried, kissed and wouldn’t let go of each other until finally it was time for me to leave; the flight luxurious bus began to move, I ran up, caught it and went in, I kept looking back and i saw her still standing on the same spot looking at the bus too sad and lonely to wave, it was a painful but necessary departure. All through my service year i would save half of my income and allowances and travel all the way from Afikpo to Ado Ekiti to see her. It was a regular ritual. Every last weekend of the month I’m off to Ado Ekiti, the journey wasn’t a big deal, the sheer thought of seeing my woman again made the journey pretty short. Hence this last month of my service year, I was in her room as usual but this time begging her to reconsider her position to end the relationship. She has no excuse, no reason and I had done nothing wrong; she’s just tired and wanted it to end. It wasn’t even about the investment in time, sweat, love, resources and passion. It was facing the reality of the separation; a permanent separation, the dream of marrying her becoming a pipe dream, I couldn’t stand it, I couldn’t handle it, I knelt down begging , she wouldn’t listen, her mind was made up, she walked out of the room leaving me there still on my knees. What did I do wrong? What was my crime? How have I wronged her? I was perplexed, shocked and definitely heartbroken. How I coped through that season of my return to Lagos I do not know, how I survived the loneliness and hurt of rejection I do not know but somehow I survived. I came back to Makurdi, commenced my job hunt and tried to go over my hurt and heartbreak. Luckily within six months of my return to Makurdi i got a job with a leading multinational, i was with the sales team so i got a brand new official car for my sales activities and also relocated to Abuja where my company is base. Almost a year afterwards, I visited my family in Makurdi and was about returning to Abuja; i was driving through North bank Makurdi heading for Abuja and my ex –girlfriend’s younger sister waved me down, I stopped i was glad to see her, and i parked my car at the eatery close by to have a chat with her. The young lady was worried and a bit upset. She began to speak, it’s a long story ‘’Egbon’’, you see the reason why my sister broke up with you was because she met a man at an event in Akure, this man came from port Harcourt; he’s an oil company worker. He showed interest in my elder sister and immediately began to shower her with lots of cash and gifts. After this event at Akure the man kept coming back to see my sister at school and after about a month came t the house with a lot of money and gifts for my parents promising to marry my sister and make her happy. My parents advised my sister to forget about you and marry this man from port Harcourt. The oil company guy from Port Harcourt was already made; he was very rich and you were just a struggling corp member. So my parents persuaded my sister to dump you for him. Four months after my sister broke up with you, she decided to go visit this new boyfriend in Port Harcourt Uninvited; She wanted to surprise him and on reaching his house, she discovered he was already married with two children. My sister was devastated, heartbroken and is yet to recover till now. She doesn’t even know how to face you or apologize, Egbon, I’m here to plead on her behalf please forgive her, it is the devil’s handiwork. Where is she now? Hmmm she’s at home o, that wicked man from Port Harcourt asked her to give up her admission at UNAD that he would secure admission for her at Uniport, as he wanted to marry her immediately and will want his wife to be in the same city and go to school from home, so my sister dropped out of school with the support of my parents and was waiting for the Port Harcourt oil company worker to complete her admission process at Uniport. In fact it was part of the reasons my sister travelled to surprise him in Port Harcourt before discovering he was already married with children. Hmmm, i looked up and down, I was sad, I was angry, i was disappointed, so this girl dumped me for another man after all we shared and all I sacrificed for her. Worse still her parents were in the know and supported her callous act. I also felt sorry for her; I guess I still had the soft spot for her. But i concluded she is unworthy of me, if she did it once, she will do it again. I stood up, I’m sorry I can’t help you guys; I dropped some money on the table at the eatery, into the bright sunlight with tears welling up in my eyes. Ladies and Gentlemen what do you have, what do you want, what do you really need? It is quite important for us as a people to think thoroughly before we act or move on anything in this life. Because nothing in this life is perfect and flawless, wisdom is to learn to accept the weakness and embrace the strength in anyone we have and love them like that. I assure you, married or single there is always someone out there who would appear, sound and behave better than your partner at different times. What you see clearly is what they have and your partner lacks, what you don’t see is what they lack but your partner has got and is so critical to your relationship. Decide today to cherish and appreciate what you have, love them, celebrate them and appreciate them. Don’t let go of that bird in your hand for that one looking so good in the bush. p>Pages: 1 2 3 4